• "It's Egyptology's answer to The Onion. How did such a thing happen?"
  • "The best source for Egyptological humor"
  • "OMG is this funny. If you are a student of Egyptology, or were ever a student of Egyptology, you have to check this out"
  • "Good fun - a sort of esoteric version of The Onion"
  • "Egyptastic site was hilarious!!"
  • "I've just had to stop reading as my strangled hysterics were drowning out callers to the neighbouring Helpdesk"
  • "What a masterpiece"
  • "Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. I haven't stopped laughing"
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  • "Egyptastic should be required reading for anyone considering a career in Egyptology"
  • "I just had a long hard peek at your website and the tales of his Hawass-ness! Brilliant!"
  • "Marvellous stuff, sir"
  • "Keep up the brilliant work"
  • "The updated articles are the highlight of my week with me laughing so loud the neighbours fear for my sanity!!"
  • "I have absolutely loved all your articles so far but I think this one is utterly tasteless"
  • "Thank you so much for Eyptastic. It is such a pleasure to read witty, intellectual, well written humor"
  • "I don't think I've ever laughed so much as at your site"
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  • "I have no idea what is wrong with you people, but the website is spectacular"
  • "Brilliant!"
New Egyptian Museum Gift Shop to Sell 'Hawass Ministerial Career' Yo-Yo
The gift shop at Cairo's Egyptian Museum today began offering for sale the first in a new range of Zahi Hawass branded souvenirs. Available for 20LE, a proportion of the sales of the official Zahi Hawass Ministerial Career Yo-Yo will go to the Sick Children and Retired Minister's Benevolent Fund....

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Hawass unveils new museum in shape of own head
In a surprise change to the existing plans for the Grand Egyptian Museum (GEM) at Giza, Zahi Hawass has today revealed that the museum will now be built in a form that better reflects the essence of ancient Egypt itself. The 160m edifice will be constructed in the shape of the head - and hat - of Zahi Hawass.
Official plans for the building - redesigned by Hawass Conglomerated Industries after the surprise dismissal of the project's original architect - have yet to be publicly released. However, in an exclusive scoop, Egyptastic can today publish rough concept sketches, apparently in Hawass's own hand....

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Hawass clothing range adds orange jumpsuit
Not content with changing the landscape of men's clothing overnight, Zahi Hawass has followed up on the universal acclaim for the tasteful launch of his eponymous collection by adding new 'topical' items to the range.
Working closely with the company that designed the award-winning Zahi Hawass clothing range, DesignPygmy, Hawass announced today that the range will be extended to include items that reflect his 'very rich recent personal history'. Images released by DesignPygmy show a striking orange one-piece jumpsuit, which will be available in an exclusive, individually numbered limited edition. The collection's first jewellery piece will be an innovative twin-bracelet with keyhole detailing....

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UCL lecturer 'appalled' by Hawass menswear collection launch
Senior Lecturer in Egyptian Archaeology at UCL and Director of the EES Survey of Memphis, Dr David Jeffreys, has become the highest profile figure thus far to criticise the recent launch of sometime Minister of Culture and TV archaeologiser, Zahi Hawass's eponymous line of men's clothing.
Olivia Robertson, a PhD student under the renowned Memphite scholar, told egyptastic that, like most people who stumbled across the collection's website, Dr Jeffreys had assumed that the whole thing was a spoof....

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Egypt tries to break off relationship with 'desperate' Hawass
Egypt, a country of c. 80 million inhabitants, has requested international assistance in explaining to its one-time sweetheart, Zahi Hawass, that it no longer loves him. In an open letter to Cosmopolitan International magazine's resident agony aunt, Irma Kurtz, the North African nation has revealed that, despite its best efforts to convey this news to Hawass, he is reportedly unwilling to accept the termination of the relationship.
We have reproduced the letter here with the publisher's permission...

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Hawass announces 'denim-based' career plan
Following his humble and dignified relinquishing of his position in Egypt's government, Zahi Hawass has today outlined his plans for his next career move. It will be no surprise to Hawass's worldwide army of fans that the plans involve his one pre-eminent lifelong love: denim. The erstwhile Minister of Antiquities (a position he fulfilled with all the gravitas and professionalism that one would expect from a man best known for shouting at people on television until they pee) now plans to enter the world of retail...

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