It has been announced today on the official website of Dr Zahi Hawass, explorer in residence for National Geographic and male model for www.unbuttonedshirts.com, that the discovery of the tomb of Tutankhamun was made by Dr Hawass, acting alone and entirely unaided by any other agency or individual.

At a hastily-arranged press conference this morning, Hawass was questioned as to how he could possibly have discovered the tomb, which is widely thought to have been unearthed around 1922. Sections of Hawass's website report that he is 29 years old, having been born in 1978. Nevertheless, he had a typically bombastic response. 'The question itself is a horrible slur against me and against the great country of Egypt', he bellowed, covering the front two rows of journalists in spittle and mint tea, 'how difficult it is for you all to accept that this great find might have been made not by an Englishman but by a hairy-chested, virile Egyptian. I found the tomb. She is mine, and I will protect her contents from western imperialist hands. Indeed, I have had many of the exquisite objects from the tomb moved to the Cairo Museum for safekeeping.' Visibly tumescent, he added: 'more than 80 years ago'.

Hawass also announced plans for his next fieldwork project during his 75-minute appearance. Later this year he will lead a mission to the obscure and previously unexcavated site of Karnak.

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