Theodore Kingsley, an Egyptology student at Liverpool University, decided in his own mind Thursday evening that he would definitely not derive any enjoyment from the soon-to-be-released third instalment of the hugely popular 'Mummy' film franchise, in marked - and deliberate - contrast with the vast majority of the country's adult population, whose reactions to it are thought likely to range from 'alright, I suppose' to 'a bit of harmless fun'.

He has also told himself that his decision covers 'ironic' and 'post-ironic' levels of feeling as well as sincere emotion, although he has no real idea how a 'post-ironic' thought might be manifested, and last experienced a sincere emotion in the summer of 2005. Since becoming an undergraduate, Kingsley has successfully swathed each of his feelings and actions in a layer of what he thinks constitutes knowing irony.

Kingsley has yet to verbalise his decision to his immediate friends, resolving instead to wait until advance publicity for the film begins to appear in the national media. He has, though, started to internally rehearse a two-minute monologue outlining his intellectual objections to the appropriation of ancient Egyptian themes for use in mass entertainment. At time of going to press, Kingsley planned to give the pompous tirade its first public airing at a local multiplex cinema, should a trailer for the offending film appear before one of the subtitled 'arthouse' films he plans to attend. He was reported Thursday to still be complete unaware that his stance will make him seem like a 'humourless, pretentious tit' to all of his non-Egyptological friends.

Share this on facebook | Tweet this