Leading academics who have criticised the new BBC Series Superextreme Archaeology as 'an unscientific travesty' have been dismissed as 'old fashioned' and 'irrelevant' by the programme's makers. Speaking from the Soho headquarters of Schlub Productions today, the show's producer Martin de Lacey said: "These joyless spoilsports are completely missing the point. This is archaeotainment, not science. Since when was it necessary to be accurate or 'scientific' when you're talking about a bunch of old dead guys? What we're doing here is taking archaeology to the next level. So if you're amongst the dozens of TV viewers who didn't find the lycra-clad, needlessly-abseiling stars of Extreme Archaeology a bunch of insufferably idiotic pricks, you're in for a treat."

Suddenly adopting the overwrought vocal style of a BBC3 continuity announcer, de Lacey went on: "If you thought untangling the genealogy of Egypt's eighteenth dynasty kings was difficult, wait until you've seen our team trying to do it from books with every other page removed, in a burning library stalked by a dozen cranky panthers. And if you thought excavating in the baking sun of an Egyptian summer was challenging enough, you'll love the sight of our team digging a new archaeological site each week - because we've sprinkled every excavation with landmines, and released monkeys with machine guns strapped to their heads to murderously roam the trenches."

Confronted with the charge that Superextreme Archaeology represents a step too far in the entertainment industry's rush to apply attention-grabbing gimmicks to essentially dry subjects, de Lacey was unfazed: "I really don't see the difference between Tony Robinson on Time Team pretending that he's only got two days to dig some priory somewhere and us giving our team two whole weeks, but pinning them down for that fortnight with precision artillery fire. Which is exactly what we do in episode four, folks."

"Despite what these so-called academics might say, this new series is not just about exposing our diggers to contrived physical danger," he continued. "For instance, in the third programme of the series, we tell our geophysicist Graham on camera that his wife and young daughter have been killed in a car crash. I can promise you now that watching him try to cope with his grief, while we continue to badger him for an interpretation of the magnetometry plot, is one of this year's most powerful TV moments. Of course, we take the potential for deep-seated psychological trauma very seriously - all of our team are offered a 30-minute session with a trained TV-counsellor. It's actually the same guy who does the Jeremy Kyle show."

de Lacey also took the opportunity to appeal for new archaeologists to star in the follow up series, Superextreme Archaeology to the Max, which will begin filming in the summer. "We've had a high turnover of archaeologists this series," he explained. "Especially after our blockbusting final episode. But I think even our late colleagues would agree that the team wouldn't have worked so hard on solving the mystery of the Dendera reliefs if we hadn't injected that slow-acting poison into their veins in the first place."

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