Egyptology Vacancy Attracts Socially Inept Freaks (More So Than Usual)

University administrators have been left red-faced after a typographical error in a job advert resulted in Oxford's Oriental Institute being overrun by tattooed, black-clad youths, many with numerous piercings and variously identifying themselves as 'Emos', 'Goths', 'Black Metallers' and 'Electroclashvamps', all hoping to be interviewed for a position there.

The typo had appeared in an advert that was intended to advertise a post for a Lecturship in Demotic Studies. An internal investigation by the Institute's Appointments Committee has traced the problem to Microsoft Word's 'spell-check' function. Peter Spencer-Davies, who chairs the committee, told us that their investigation had revealed that the word-processing package does not recognise the word 'demotic', and automatically corrects it to read 'demonic'.

Because the short-listing of candidates was left to a junior staff member, the error was not uncovered until applicants began to queue outside the Institute for their interviews. Further embarrassment followed as the initial dozen people were mistaken for a line waiting to buy tickets for an upcoming concert by the Finnish Black Metal band Satanic Warmaster. Before the Institute's staff dispersed them, over a hundred people had gathered, in a scene that was described by one onlooker as a 'sea of black - a really foul-smelling sea of black'.

To the astonishment of many Egyptologists , the Institute went ahead with some of the planned interviews, and we have since learnt that they do not intend to re-advertise the vacancy. A spokesman there told us: "There were two or three very strong candidates, and we're confident that the second round of interviews will go well. Our current favoured applicant, Bard Faust, has a dedication to the study of ancient cultures that is beyond question, as the numerous Celtic symbols tattooed on his face amply attest. He has a strong track record of pursuing internet-based research on the themes of 'Isis as a White Witch' and 'The Spells of Seth'. Admittedly, his demonstrable knowledge of demotic is limited, but the inverted ankh sign on his neck is a good starting point. Let's face it, we're only talking about lecturing at Oxford University. As long as he reads a few books before he gets here and manages to stay one step ahead of a bunch of public schoolboys, he'll do very well here. In fact, there are some very exciting research synergies here too - we're very keen for Mr. Faust to start working with Henri von Kaske, our recently-appointed Professor of Egyptology, Extra-Terrestrial Life and TV Ratings."

At time of going to press, reporters for Egyptastic were still working to confirm whether anyone has ever used the word 'synergy' in a way that adds any meaning to the point they are making.

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Bard Faust, ecstatically happy with his interview performance

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