|
University administrators have been left red-faced after a typographical
error in a job advert resulted in Oxford's Oriental Institute being overrun by tattooed, black-clad youths, many
with numerous piercings and variously identifying themselves as 'Emos', 'Goths', 'Black Metallers' and
'Electroclashvamps', all hoping to be interviewed for a position there.
The typo had appeared in an advert that was intended to advertise a post for a
Lecturship in Demotic Studies. An internal investigation by the Institute's Appointments Committee has traced the
problem to Microsoft Word's 'spell-check' function. Peter Spencer-Davies, who chairs the committee, told us that
their investigation had revealed that the word-processing package does not recognise the word 'demotic', and
automatically corrects it to read 'demonic'.
Because the short-listing of candidates was left to a junior staff member, the error
was not uncovered until applicants began to queue outside the Institute for their interviews. Further embarrassment
followed as the initial dozen people were mistaken for a line waiting to buy tickets for an upcoming concert by the
Finnish Black Metal band Satanic Warmaster. Before the Institute's staff dispersed them, over a hundred people had
gathered, in a scene that was described by one onlooker as a 'sea of black - a really foul-smelling sea of black'.
To the astonishment of many Egyptologists , the Institute went ahead with some of the
planned interviews, and we have since learnt that they do not intend to re-advertise the vacancy. A spokesman there
told us: "There were two or three very strong candidates, and we're confident that the second round of interviews
will go well. Our current favoured applicant, Bard Faust, has a dedication to the study of ancient cultures that
is beyond question, as the numerous Celtic symbols tattooed on his face amply attest. He has a strong track
record of pursuing internet-based research on the themes of 'Isis as a White Witch' and 'The Spells of Seth'.
Admittedly, his demonstrable knowledge of demotic is limited, but the inverted ankh sign on his neck is a good
starting point. Let's face it, we're only talking about lecturing at Oxford University. As long as he reads a few
books before he gets here and manages to stay one step ahead of a bunch of public schoolboys, he'll do very well
here. In fact, there are some very exciting research synergies here too - we're very keen for Mr. Faust to start
working with Henri von Kaske, our recently-appointed Professor of Egyptology, Extra-Terrestrial Life and TV Ratings."
At time of going to press, reporters for Egyptastic were still working to confirm
whether anyone has ever used the word 'synergy' in a way that adds any meaning to the point they are making.
Share this on facebook |
Tweet this
|