Following his humble and dignified relinquishing of his position in Egypt's government, Zahi Hawass has today outlined his plans for his next career move. It will be no surprise to Hawass's worldwide army of fans that the plans involve his one pre-eminent lifelong love: denim. The erstwhile Minister of Antiquities (a position he fulfilled with all the gravitas and professionalism that one would expect from a man best known for shouting at people on television until they pee) now plans to enter the world of retail. He used today's press conference, held in Cairo's Hawass Square (previously Tahrir Square), to announce the launch of his new company, Big Z's World of Denim.

To most seasoned Hawass-watchers, the only surprise is that it has taken him so long to turn his burning passion into a business opportunity. "It is true," Hawass explained, "like many people in this country under Mubarak, I had to find work where I could, so I became an archaeologist. But I never really understood people's interest in this field, and I did not bother to learn very much about it. It was useful however for impressing the women at the dinner parties. Now finally, thanks to the revolution, I can live my dream. I spent my childhood making denim clothes from scraps of cloth I found in my garden and putting on fashion shows for my family. Now I will sell denim to the world."

Dressed head to toe in denim clothing of his own design, Hawass announced that he had already secured a high-footfall location for his first shop - an imposing two storey building that fronts directly onto the square itself. According to Hawass, once he has finalised the arrangements for his retirement, the building should offer tens of thousands of square feet of shop floor space, and even more in storage. He had been able to acquire the building at a knock-down price, he said, as it was in a downtown location that had recently attracted negative attention for reports of theft and vandalism. Indeed, the building had been broken into as recently as February this year.

Already making ambitious plans for a rapid expansion of the business, Hawass hinted that he had also managed to obtain first refusal on dozens of other locations, including an innovative underground store at Bahariya Oasis and even an underwater outlet in Alexandria. He is also lining up high profile business partners, one of whom, Mark Lehner, appeared alongside him. "Our friendship was forged in denim," Lehner told reporters, "and now that friendship will grow as it is wrapped in layer after layer of metaphorical denim. And real denim." Pausing to place his hand over Hawass's denim-covered shoulder, he added: "Mmmm, denim."

When Egyptastic contacted Hawass crony Gethin H. Le-Ringtone for a comment, he was equally upbeat about the venture. "Although the world has lived with denim for centuries, it takes a visionary like Zahi, who has worn it every day of his life, to truly unleash the awesome power of denim. I for one can't wait to see what he does."

However, others in the Egyptological community are in disarray. An anonymous archaeologist told Egyptastic: "This is a crisis. With Zahi gone, who will 'discover' our greatest finds? With so much left to find and no-one to single-handedly unearth them on live TV, what will become of our beloved subject?"

Nevertheless, as we went to press, Hawass's announcement was already being hailed as potentially the greatest tangible benefit to emerge from the ending of Mubarak's dictatorship. As Mr Le-Ringtone breathlessly told us: "The world has seen a velvet revolution, but truly this is the first denim revolution."

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