In a surprise change to the existing plans for the Grand Egyptian Museum (GEM) at Giza, Zahi Hawass has today revealed that the museum will now be built in a form that better reflects the essence of ancient Egypt itself. The 160m edifice will be constructed in the shape of the head - and hat - of Zahi Hawass.

Official plans for the building - redesigned by Hawass Conglomerated Industries after the surprise dismissal of the project's original architect - have yet to be publicly released. However, in an exclusive scoop, Egyptastic can today publish rough concept sketches, apparently in Hawass's own hand. They seem to show a vast building in the shape of a roughly cubic head, surmounted by an 'Indiana Jones-style' hat. Rudimentary though they are, the sketches seem to suggest that Hawass's permanently open mouth will act as the main entrance, while the brim of his hat forms an exterior viewing gallery. A central external lift shaft provides a 'nose'.

In a brief telephone interview, Hawass told us: "I am proud of this beautiful, sensitive new plan for the museum. The ancient Egyptians raised huge temples to worship their Gods and their kings. I have listened to the people of Egypt, and the world, and I know that they want this museum to forever serve the glory of Zahi Hawass."

Hawass was keen to boast of the architectural design's environmental credentials, revealing that the new museum's lower storeys will be constructed largely from recycled material. "There is an existing outcrop of rock on the Giza plateau, just to the East of the pyramids, which has for many years now been an unsightly eyesore. We will bulldoze this and use the rubble for our foundations."

When we questioned him on the contents of the building, Hawass appeared less sure. "Inside?" he asked, "ah, yes, there will be some things inside. Old things that are not as interesting as the head and the famous hat of Zahi Hawass. These so-called 'contents', really they are not so important."

Hawass crony Gethin H. Le-Ringtone offered some further explanation, telling us: "The ingenious design means that the architectural elements representing Zahi's ears are glass capsules offering spectacular panoramic views over the Giza plateau. They are linked across the full width of the building by an uninterrupted glass walkway. So the overall effect is this hugely voluminous 'head' - what you could call I suppose a very 'big head', but with absolutely nothing of any substance between the 'ears'.

One final novel design detail emerged from today's announcement. Confounding traditional expectations in a building project in Egypt's warm climate, where air conditioning is a standard inclusion in almost every public building, the new museum will instead be designed to accentuate its surrounding natural environment. "That's correct," confirmed Mr Le-Ringtone, "It will be full of hot air."

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