The gift shop at Cairo's Egyptian Museum today began offering for sale the first in a new range of Zahi Hawass branded souvenirs. Available for 20LE, a proportion of the sales of the official Zahi Hawass Ministerial Career Yo-Yo will go to the Sick Children and Retired Minister's Benevolent Fund.

Many critics will see the museum's launch of a piece of cheap, tacky merchandise as an attempt to compete directly with Hawass Conglomerated Industries' sale of 'Indiana Jones-style' hats. However, a museum source told us: "This isn't just a quick cash-in - we think it's the best way for us to pay a fitting tribute to Zahi Hawass's contribution to the Egyptian Revolution. That's why the yo-yo is decorated with the patented 'Two-Faced Zahi' design - one face represents his support for President Hosni Mubarak and the other represents his diammetrically opposed support for the protestors. Our hope is that, years from now, this yo-yo's jerky up and down movements will help to remind people of the heroic and selfless way in which Dr Hawass attempted to switch to the winning side as soon as it seemed safe to do so."

Egyptologists who had received promotional yo-yos in advance of their going on sale wholeheartedly endorsed the concept. One anonymous AUC Professor told us "I think it's a great idea. After all, Zahi's standing in the last few months has been up and down quicker than, well, Zahi's trousers in a 'meeting' with his research assistants."

A second archaeologist agreed. "I think a yo-yo is the perfect piece of Zahi merchandise," he told us. "After all, he's been in and out of his post quicker than, well, Zahi Hawass's penis goes in and out of his interns."

At the time of writing, the museum's merchandise department was developing a Zahi Hawass boomerang, and had been seeking assurances from their manufacturer that the final product will be 100% guaranteed to complete a full u-turn and return to its starting point no matter how many times it is thrown away.

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